Thursday, April 29, 2010

No dayzzzz .. No nitezzzz

Not being uber-romantique !

I'm home for long 3 dayzz now.. can't move out till Mr.All-Blindingly-Bright-Uber-Hot-Summer-Sun is out.. and post that.. the Always-On-Halt-No-Signal-Working-Pune Traffic. So.. I drop the idea of moving out :|

At home. I've been seeing the walls, TV, Computer, Radhe-Krishna Calender, some munchies-chewies.. lying on my mattress for a long long time; alternately switching my view from TV to Computer to sometimes.. books ! Driven by lazzziness and dizzzziness, I've given up having milk in the mug and now I go straight-away for the milk pouch.. that increases my usual 'take-in' quantity. My breakfast is totally on me.. so i generally 'fast' through it or have some weird-uncooked combinationzzzz. News-paper has the page3 celebs, as happy as they've always been and some lousy releases that none see. I see Michael Scofield rescuing his love twice a day playing the same trap-tricks in the evening.. as he played in the morning. Facebook wall is full with '***** is **% lucky today', 'your date of the day is *****' blah blah.. who gives a shit about your luck %.. were you **% lucky, you'd already be dating your 'date of the day' ! Modi-Ipl are suddenly out of news.. and Barcelona loses to Internazionale during a night I decide NOT to sleep through...

I put up an alarm to be up at 0015 Hrs while sleeping at 1115 Hrs, in a good faith, to get up and study..
haven't seen success till day and my zzzzzy story goes on steady

Dhruv..

Monday, April 26, 2010

~$ubmi$$ion~

The word has a depth associated.. it is something we engineers do.. rather are subjected to !

We.. 'submit'.. all the journals which are worth some marks; copying the stuff, that probably has been the same for years now, into 'em.. in different hand-writings and colors; apparently to 'learn' something... the part I never got.. no one did ! Whats the point.. when it doesn't help one in any possible way ! All one gets is a partnership in crime-against-nature while shelling one's own buck for the same..

Here's how it goes..

-> With some supreme powers vested in them, the college authorities 'force' students to buy a much much over-valved 'college-stationary' package. One can't refuse to do so.. 'cause then you don't get your much needed ID card ! What they inculcate..?! Students preparing fake ID cards ('cause they usually have left-over stationary from previous year and the high amount).. 'forgery'!

-> Somehow practicals are conducted ('somehow') and corresponding write-ups are sought after. Generally its a 'submitted' file from the previous year, from the 'other' college that is brought into the scene or the students are given the responsibility to prepare the write-ups 'on their own' without even a single reference book available in college/department library. What students do.. they copy down all the stuff as it as from a local author.. the tenses/senses are far beyond of being aweful. The 'learning' part as so-called 'aimed' by authorities, is no where in scenario with a whole lotta.. 'time wastage'!

-> The 'copied' master-copy, with lots of grammatical/technical errors is ready.. with a lot of filled in pages (the text is much beyond required 'cause it has been copied 'as it is'). So now.. the other students get this master-copy from the 'brilliant' student who 'prepared' it and worked on it 'for hours'.. and get the un-ending text xeroxed ! This seeks a substantial amount from one's monthly pocket money as well as eats up tonnes of trees.. 'cause you need pages !

-> Now the xeroxed 'copied' master-copy is copied again by many ! And you generally don't stand aloof with a notion of 'I'll do it on my own' ! So.. like masses.. you copy and put in time 'cause deadlines have to me met to avoid childish 'very late' remarks (very late in copying :P). This takes away a lot of time.. a substantial fraction of which, if devoted to read even a news-paper, would enhance one's knowledge. A significant number of students 'out-source' the 'copying' act too.. costing again a significant fraction of their buck-pack !

-> Done copying, one has now another battle to fight.. getting the stuff 'corrected'. This cycle too consumes a lot of time and mental pressure 'cause of the tantrums and taunty 'remarks' by the 'teachers'.. no.. 'lecturers'.. they are no teachers.. too less human to be called so ! The xeroxed material sees a dust-bin, making it useless and a mere 'waste' and the 'somehow' corrected file reaches its final stage of '$ubmi$$ion'.

-> '$ubmi$$ion' comes with a lot of monetary issues. Your 'copied' file is never submitted at-once and there is a separate 'time-table' involved. To submit this 'copied' stuff you even have to be properly attired and have to have a heavy pocket with some extra bucks to roll in. Your file is not submitted until you have some specific 'percentage' of attendance in lectures conducted by the said 'lecturers'. That is a compulsion.. God knows why.. and failing to do so.. you become a puppet with your guide-strands in the hands of the 'lecturers'. Now starts the role of your buck-pack.. the amount you roll in buys you..1) bad term marks 2) your file submission 3) enhancement in attendance to meet the university requirements. University decides the attendance percentage but the 'fine' is decided again by the said authorities.. this is their oppurtunity to earn and so an attractive 'fine-slab' is prepared running from 1000 bucks to 10000 bucks.. pay them accordingly and...


"You're done with your submission !"


In the process, you along with millions of other students who go through approximately the same, achieve/contribute following :-

1) A 'rest' for a huge number of once 'standing' trees, which could have contributed at-least a little to the worsening climatic conditions.

2) No 'knowledge' as against the so called 'aim' of the authorities.

3) Values like 'forgery' and 'lies' in the 'value based education' process.

4) Wastage of huge amount of money.

5) 'Waste of time'.. time that could have been fruitfully used elsewhere and may have contributed to your knowledge and marks.

The list goes on.. as you think about it more !

We are shirkers. We 'submit'

Dhruv..

Sunday, April 25, 2010

~what you are.. to me

~you know.. there are times when against all wants and needs in life.. I need just you..

When you are around.. its this heavenly cocoon that encircles me and all I'm in.. is your world.. the way you make me see it.. the aura.. the charisma.. the notion of 'trust me' you radiate.. is what goes through me ! I'm alive for sure.. and this is the life I want.. in this miniature world of yours in this majestic world..
you make life simpler.. rather.. you fill in the colors to the otherwise outlines enclosing the blank !

My problems.. as u see.. no one else does.. may be what they see is right.. but your way is more in view to soothe me.. make me comfortable and fill in with belief that the things will come right.. don't know why; but you have this in you, for me.. what every mother has for her child..!

I have hated life.. but every time, its your existence that has paved a path for me to reconsider my view.. how can i hate this life when it has brought me to you. I so love it.. 'cause I don't know what I want.. but your presence, your hand n a place in your heart !

I don't know if you are mine.. but there is one thing I know.. when I get lost, feel like a mess.. I can't help but reminisce.. I feel like searching for you.. 'cause when you go.. colors fade away..

Monday, April 19, 2010

Farewell.. Faces.. Memories.. Moments !

On 15th of April was our farewell. At a point in time I had made a view that I would give it a miss.. 'cause I was so done-done with college, department etc.

It took me a Sagar, a Sneha, a Viniie to convince that I shouldn't miss it..!

On 14th.. in a scorching sun.. we (me and anant) went shopping with our clueless minds being constantly governed/misgoverned by exhausting unbearable heat and unpredictable economic conditions ;).. I give my 'tux' plans a big amiss :|

So.. Sagar helps me find a black kurta which I happen to like immediately and Anant still isn't convinced.. 'cause he wants a 'coat'/'suit' with a little buck to roll !
So.. he tries every possible 'hathkanda' and urges Rohit to get one :p but finally ends up with a rust colored kurta !

Now.. he (and me too somewhere :)) is convinced that we're gonna be too under-dressed for the event besides.. we gotta see the faces again :|
So.. on way I agree to his winner's-its-gonna-be-whole-lotta-fun-when-we-are-high ! So.. we are all set !

@MIT Lawns.. ignoring all the stagey-podium-stuff; we click photographs.. a lot of 'em.. with people I'd not seen for long.. with people I once had moments with.. with people I'd miss.. with people who once were strangers.. with people who became friends with time.. with these friends I like.. with these friends I love.. with the friends I had 'time of my life'.. A stupid notion that was once ruling my mind and keeping me from attending the farewell, met its answer...cuz here I was, in the farewell, enjoying every moment of togetherness with all the friends ! And the lil suroor just added to the emotions :)

'Faces' met.. cherished and remembered the 'memories'.. created 'moments' for lifetime.. had a fun 'farewell' !

@ sagar,anant,mit,raunak,aniket,shrey,akhilesh,ahsay,gujar,prathu,gadia,ajay,shetty,rohit,andy,binoy and all the guys I know but missed here.. thanks bros.. I had some real real great time at some point of time with you !

@kirti,tejal,nishi,mayuri,apurva,madhura,nupoor,teja,chandni,bhavya. Ladies.. you looked gorgeous on the day ! And.. thanks for every moment I ever had with you.. its intact in my memory and I'm gonna miss 'em and you !

@all - love ya buddies !

No more regrets.. no more hating-the-college-stuff.. it gave me friends and memories for ever.. and I learned something :)

Love, peace.

Dhruv..

P.S. Farewells are fun.. when you are a lil high ;)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I don't care.. I care.. I don't know

I'm not liking it.. no.. not at all. I really don't know what to do..
What I did.. I'm clueless why I did.. now I feel that I don't belong.. I never did !
I'm asking no pity.. I hate everyone.. myself..

My farewell is approaching.. I'm reluctant on attending.. why !? I know this.. 'cause the ones I wish to be with are little and not gonna be there..

I desire a lot.. have achieved none of it.. and everyday I end up hating every damn thing.. my college.. pune.. life.. what's missing, I don't know..

Why nothing is good.. as I want.. I decide on studying but things are hard to get in though easy to understand..

My good friends have friends.. but what they don't get is that I just have them..

While driving back home.. I wish I could hit it.. end it all. The travel distance, heat fatigues me.. and against my wish I criticize everything..

I care about my life.. my parents' expectations.. then why do I feel like I don't ?! This thing... its killing me within.. and the best part.. I don't know what is it..

I'm scared..

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I stroll !

My memory lane goes too long.. to distances, I sometimes regret, sometimes rejoice ! But my imagination.. my better world.. goes distances/places I never regret.. a world where I'm happy.. surroundings are smiley.. sun in serene.. rain is romantique !

My world.. not so big.. a boundary-less miniature; with whole lotta greenery.. fresh water.. friends.. fun.. love and burger king :)

'Romantiques' once made.. go on smooth and with time gain aroma of that antique wine, romantiques relish ! So.. no heart breaks.. no lost-love vows.. just 'u n me' and we break open a bottle of wine.. whole lotta love !

Friends are easy.. limited.. 'there'.. u can talk out your heart.. have beers at lake rocks.. talk movies, sports, girls, figures (;)), sex ! Pull his legs until he's creepy with words.. but get him to a nice pub.. he's bro again ! He may talk shit.. but he is dear.. and though seen in movies only.. we are one strong-to-go-real-life bunch ! And when you're upset.. they listen.. pat your back, tell you that its gonna be ok.. u say cheers.. and the booze-buddy combo helps you be an optimist and things start working !

I'm listening to Led Zeppelin :)

Dhruv..

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Shit and Shit

My music player.. is in repair; for 5 days now;

I reach college @ 11.. don't get any of my course books in library, they don't even have 'em.. Fuck.. why do we even pay them for non-existent-labs, torture-teachers.. good ones last for at the most three months.. wackiest ones stay to screw every possible ass.. 4 years.. this college has given me every possible shit.. as the end nears.. i crave more for it.. all i've had here is friends-for-life-for-sure-bros some gyaan and a job.. and that's it.. no fucking else matters.. i find the people unnecessarily foul-sour speaking/thinking.. damn-it self obsession.. they come ahead, eye every buck i have.. ask me for it by sword pointing my 'term-work' on account of some fucking 'alumini' or 'fine' for some totally non-substantial issue.. i've to beg to money-brooding organization to pay the dues they owe me.. they flatly refuse.. then again.. i can't do any damn thing.. while others make memories.. my fucking notes get a flashy 'L'.. why ?.. because.. "you went home for some important work.. but you committed a crime Joe..! BIG BIG crime.. its morally ethically wrong..!" Now your master is going home.. fucking his holiday is fine.. faces I'd never miss.. rather would piss on.. give me a photo ! But their are always exceptions.. no hard feelings for 'em.. i love 'em.. owe then for what they taught me..;

Fare-well.. damn you fucked me and my friends well..;

They follow something similar outside too.. the shit they fill in mass makes the mass more unfriendly to me.. to my friends.. they ought to stop it.. they are no-where contributing to nation.. to society.. where are the values in their 'value based education'.. where is the friendliness.. ease.. softness.. love.. amongst people.. why do their steps want to curb the small unities which develop.. where is the human side to student treatment.. whats so great.. so prestigious in them.. which makes 'em take a walk while someone tries to explain his problem.. prejudice.. why.. why treat an individual with mass like notion;

'We'.. the people.. hehe.. seems like a joke to me now for how they deal with things to ensure its survival;

This is the enD


May be.. i'm afraid..

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The High-way back !

So.. settling the things.. negotiating the sub-states of semi-consciousness I, with Sagar along.. take off on my churrrrrrrrr activa.. for my place.

Silence, night, street lights diffusing, empty roads.. colorfully faded vision ;).. a perfect i-want-to-see.. thanks to the perfect number of pecks.. each with a perfect composition.. thanks to the trusted Monk !

So.. my activa glides on.. and in the way we halt at his place and have food and pick up some books :).. damn hungry we were and Chinoo..the cat was as usual busy with himself !

Further in journey to Koregaon Park.. I feel my eyes closing while my bike is taking more of curvy paths and at higher speeds.. both being against my wishes of straighter paths and lower speeds ! Then we pass an even curvier SNDT road and my path is curvier than ever !

Suddenly, Sagar plugs-in a piece of his ear phones into my left ear and AC~DC takes from me the responsibility of the futher ride.. he knows ;)

I just reached home.. I'm safe.. Do drink lil-lil and drive safe-slow.. fun !

Dhruv !